HUMOR ONLY PEOPLE WHO GREW UP IN AN ALCOHOLIC HOME WILL APPRECIATE

Revenge is a jealous husband and/or an angry wife.

The Democratic Party is like a drunk, and the Republican Party is like his drunk father, and the Electorate is like their wives. The Democratic Party is in office for 4-8 years until it’s so bad, the Republican Party gets sent in to clean up everyone’s act, and is in office for another 4-8 years until it’s so bad, people are begging for the first…and it keeps getting worse and worse and worse…

Unfortunately, alcoholics don’t keep their promises, but a lot of them do roll with the gravy train, so you can be assured that going with the flow by following the alcohol will always put you first AND last. The alcoholic may pick up the alcohol, but we pick up the alcoholic.

Aint’ no terrorist like a drunk terrorist…and his family.

Community service in alcoholic families has lots of opportunities, giving more service than anyone else.

This can take many forms. Case-in-point: One of my family members is firmly committed to not only fixing his family members, but society. Since there are so many addicts, he decided to make himself of service. By actively hiring addicts and managing all aspects of their lives and finances for them, this business model not only remediates homes and property he purchases as investments but remediates lives. Sure, he has problems with theft and there is a lot of dysfunction on the job site and their lives, and he has had to confront, chase down and rough up a few of these individuals in parking lots, but who else is going to take that on unless he does, for the good of society? Meth is an epidemic, and the problem is that people don’t work and need to be put to work, or know how to manage their own finances. Work will set you free, lest we forget the lessons of Auschwitz, which wasn’t all bad, after all. If you just do what he tells you and follow his example. Yes, his family thought he was crazy, but they just don’t understand these people like he does, and they’re alcoholics anyway with screwed up lives of their own that also just need his guidance. His service, his financial success and his capacity to function through anything proves anyone can do it. He was once a wayward young man himself but look at him now. It’s all about the money and being functional. Examples of community service like this are just one of many where not just alcoholics, but addicts of all kinds, and products of their families like adult children, are having incredible community impact. With community service at an all-time low, you can be assured that alcohol and drugs will continue to motivate and perpetuate participation in service to our communities. Thank you, alcohol and drugs, and all that you do for our families and community! Our children need this kind of example. The next generation is assured. Where would we be without it?

Humor is sarcastic, bitter, ironic, passive-aggressive and dark stemming from the experience of families & friends of alcoholism. But for our higher power, shared experience, tasteless humor and Gonzo journalism, life would just be too serious. In the folds of its severity, it is ridiculous, and therein lies our redemption, in our laughter and our tears.