Oh for the Simple Joys of Maidenhood – Ode to Heather Lund

TO: Heather Lynn Lund

An Action at law (21CV0197) has been brought against you in the following venue. The presiding judge (Greer) granted Plaintiff permission to serve Heather L. Lund by alternative means or actual notice after the Thurston County Sheriff’s civil division was unable to do so.

WA State, Mason County District Court, John Smith vs. Heather L. Lund, case#: 21CV0192 Published Notice of: (CLICK on following links)

Show Cause Hearing & Temporary Protection Order

Thurston Sheriff’s Affidavit of Service Attempt @ 17202 Heather Lane, Yelm


Petitioner’s Exhibits A-Z

Lunds’ Deed of Reconveyance 1-13-21

Lunds’ Statutory Warranty Deed signed 12-2-20

USPS Lund Address Request Reply


3-19-21 Protection Order (21CV0197)

Smith vs. Lund

(Heather Lund of Yelm)

The Cupcake Sings
Quiet my Heart

The Cupcake’s e-mail overture today:

” I see you are planning on writing an article about me and you do not have my consent to use my name, or any other personal information on your blog. Remember, doxxing is a crime. I will respect your wishes of no contact as I would like us to part ways as well. Thank you” – Heather Lund
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

Heather L. Lund (35, fka: Conatser), her husband and 2 small children moved from Pierce to Thurston County a few short years ago. Neither liked the more rigorous rules of the DV game as practiced in Thurston by the authorities–especially when it came to DV involving loaded firearms, each threatening to kill the other, either by shooting or, as the Cupcake admitted, threatening to slit the husband’s throat in his sleep. Their indifference to the fact their children and even the Cupcake’s mother were present during these altercations was like water off a duck’s back. That the Cupcake placed on the autism spectrum was no surprise. Thus her husband’s argument she was a poster child of why wife beating should be made legal came across as insensitive at best. Neither the police, the husband’s defense counsel, nor Prosecutor Jennifer Lord were impressed–especially as the Cupcake attempted to recant her earlier sworn affidavit submitted to the Thurston County Superior (Family) Court seeking a DV protection order and the seizure of her husband’s firearms.

The judicial system, particularly in Thurston County, needs radical restructuring given its habit of relying on punishment and stigmatizing rather than reconciliation and treatment of the mentally ill and emotionally blind/unstable. Being the hammer, SJW’s like Jennifer Lord, esq. see every male as a nail. This is a grave error because even Lord realizes the complaining witness in many of these cases cannot be trusted to tell the truth. The Cupcake had admitted as much through her e-mail correspondence. She hoped to fine tune the prosecution and sentencing of her husband by recanting her earlier sworn statements submitted to the Court signed and written in her hand. Her initial declaration appeared extremely credible and was likely the truth, yet the Cupcake now alleges she was manipulated and under some form of mind control when the investigating officer (Kimball) questioned her. If such a convincing accuser challenges her own veracity, what are the odds of a search for the truth in a courtroom setting bearing fruit?

The Cupcake’s efforts to game the system were rejected, her spouse (Nicholas B. Lund) pled guilty to the armed assault in the presence of his attorney and a colloquy conducted by the judge to confirm he understood what he was doing and that it was voluntary. He was sentenced to only 1 month for the class C Felony along with a probationary period, but prohibited from having any contact with his wife for 5 years, something that clearly irritated the Cupcake. She found fault with prosecutor Jennifer Lord, the husband’s defense counsel, and the judge for it not turning out precisely the way she wanted it. Given her glib rationale and insistence on destroying any/all credibility she might have otherwise had, a quick read through the following documents should demonstrate why a radical shift in the courts’ approach to these cases is called for. This couple doesn’t need a jail cell so much as a mental ward. The prohibition of weapons was a no brainer but should have been applied to both of them. Chalk that lapse up to Jennifer Lord, esq. who now, unfortunately, is even assigned to murder cases in Thurston County. Nevertheless, Jennifer did the Cupcake a favor by not providing her a platform for perjury.

The Cupcake’s Sworn Petition for a DV protection order signed and written in her own hand:


Officer Krumpke’s police report on the sport of DV as played by the Lunds:



4:59am on 11-28-20 criminal harassment phone message left by Heather Lund

Improved fidelity of above linked Criminal Harassment from Heather Lund (253)248-3628

11:30am on 11-28-20 criminal harassment phone message left by Heather Lund from (253)248-3628

Improved Fidelity of above linked Criminal Harassment from Heather Lund

Note: As a result of her continued months long campaign of criminal harassment and cyber stalking filed in a complaint (Rpt #20-22027) w/the Mason County Sheriff, Heather Lund has been blocked from leaving any comments in this forum whatsoever. Photos submitted for purposes of further identifying her would be appreciated, and will make the investigator’s work easier.

Is this Heather L. Lund (dob:3-23-85) of 17202 Heather Ln, SE, Yelm, WA?
Thank you, anonymous.

Lund Theme Song

Is this Heather L. Lund (dob:3-23-85) of Yelm, WA? (circa 2010)

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4 Responses to Oh for the Simple Joys of Maidenhood – Ode to Heather Lund

  1. admin says:

    As adults, you all know these truths to be self evident. So, if you feel like applauding at the end of this recitation–just…DON’T! It’s really annoying.

    TO court Karens everywhere–you know who you are:

    You are a bastard-bitch of the universe and seriously messed up. You have no right to be here
    Deteriorata. Deteriorata

    Go wrathfully amid the poised and chaste,
    And remember what mindless stimulation there may be in noise and owning a piece thereof.
    Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
    Get a mean dog.
    Better yet, as far as possible, without surrender, alienate as many timorous little bastards as you can. So long as you are beautiful and in your prime, you can get away with it.
    Rotate your tires.
    Prevaricate at volume with Byzantine obfuscation, and listen not to others with their smarmy bilge: the dull and ignorant; say, Yo, whazzup with them?
    While sucking up, speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
    And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
    Avoid passive-aggressive personalities as you would the plague; it’s bad enough they are deadly boring; they’re also a royal pain in the @ss. Never miss an opportunity to control others, be it through histrionics, abuse of authority or intimidation. Life is that they may serve YOU.
    Know what/who to kiss, and when–never give a sucker an even break. If caught, try to make it look like a virtue–never let them see you sweat. Admit no wrong doing–NEVER apologize. Reject all criticism as unjust. Compassion is for suckers.
    Remember–the opposite sex is the ENEMY! Wade into them. Use their living guts to grease the axle of your chariot.
    Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do!
    Wherever possible, put people on hold–your power is measured by how long you can keep them there. If you have a small child, they are ideal for implementing this tactic.
    If you compare yourself with others, you may become vexed and bitter–some news flash there! For always will these bungling fools be lesser persons than yourself, better paid 9 out of 10 times too. Embrace hubris, for it is your key to the Kingdom. Humility is for the little people.
    Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
    And despite the changing fortunes of time
    There is always a big future in computer maintenance, betraying your friends, and stepping on while using others. All their pain is just an illusion.

    You are an attention whore.
    You have no right to be here.
    And whether you can hear it or not,
    The universe IS laughing behind your back.

    Enjoy your achievements, for what that’s bloody worth, and plan to be reassigned any day now.
    Stay interested in your career, and don’t neglect to feign eating some Humble Pie unless you’re already overweight; it is a very nutritious snack say recent articles in Psychopathology Today.

    Remember The Pueblo.
    Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
    Know yourself.
    If you need help, call the FBI
    Exercise paranoia in your daily/business affairs–especially your affairs.
    Especially with those persons closest to you –
    That lemon on your left, for instance.
    The world is full of high-strung corporate psychopaths.
    But, let this not blind you to what fate truly holds in store: demented zombie fascist ghouls whose vaunted ideals conceal bloodthirsty plans for jingoistic genocide.
    Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
    Would scarcely get your feet wet.
    Therefore, Fall not in love. It will stick to your face.
    Be yourself, but do not risk detection–EVER! Never tell the fuckers what you really think. Neither be clinical about love, especially with that Sweet 16 year old on Friendster, or your ass is grass.

    Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan, concern for others. Recall that you should like people in general, just not in the particular.
    And let not the sands of time get in your lunch–or your crotch.
    Hire people with hooks.
    For a good time, call 866-6000 x-6399. Ask for Candy.
    Take heart in the deepening gloom.
    Eschew the questionable counsel of decrepit hosers, nor willingly follow their drooling downward stagger into the depths of sadly premature senility.
    Know that your dog is finally getting enough cheese
    And reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot
    It could only be worse in Olympia.

    Nurture unhinged hallucinations/suspicions that everything is A-OK to shield yourself from suddenly wising up. Neither be distressed you are imagining things–the recurring fear that fatigue and loneliness are merely prologues. Beyond a wholesome discipline, slip fully into mental bondage.

    You are an orphan of the universe, no less than the trees, the ozone layer, the buffalo, or the Edsel. You are cattle, you are chattel. You are in the way.
    You have no right to be here
    And whether you can hear it or not
    The universe is laughing behind your back.

    Therefore, make peace with your god
    Whatever you perceive him/her/it to be – hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
    With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
    The world continues to deteriorate.
    Give up!

    Whether it is clear to you or not, the economy is growing as it doubly should. Ergo, say your prayers, whatever you hope to gain by that, and whatever your deluded aspirations may have deemed, finding you are a certain loser in the bedlam of life’s lottery–now kiss your sorry @ss goodbye.

    You are a pimple on the backside of the universe. You are all the candy bars ever eaten.
    You have no right to be here.
    And whether you can hear it or not
    The universe is laughing behind your back.

    And yet, for all its rampant spam, its government-sanctioned drug cartels and tranquilizer-stifled screams, it’s just too beautiful a deal. Double down, cheer up, dream on–as if you might ever get to cop a slice.

    Starve to be happy.

  2. Heather Lund says:

    Hello John,
    I know you intended to hurt me, for whatever reasons, by writing this article, but I just want to reach out and say THANK YOU! My SIL passed this along to my husband and after he read it, it caused him to truly forgive me because he understands how hard I tried to make my horrible mistakes right. We were on the pathway to divorce, but because of you and your journalism, we are now on the path to reconciliation! I finally have peace in my heart and was compelled to reach out to you and share the good you have done and to let you know YAH truly used you to help me. It makes me feel good knowing we can part ways with me bearing no ill feelings towards you and now I can leave this past behind me and move on to a great future with husband and family. YAH works in mystery ways I am not even upset with Jennifer or the whole court system anymore. It feels great to feel free.
    Best wishes in all your endeavors.

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